Let’s be honest- breaking up isn’t on our top 10 list of favorite things to do (unless you’re an insensitive jerk.) Taking a poll from our readers, we’ve compliled the Top 10 Worst ways to get dumped. This is in no way a “guide” for you men who have no backbone. Take it as a warning list of what NOT to do!
No.10 Under the influence
A little Dutch courage might make taking the plunge a tad easier, but a sloppy split becomes all the more sloppy if you’ve had a few too many. Being high is also, quite obviously, ill advised. It is near guaranteed that breaking up will not go well if you’re giggling uncontrollably, paranoid, jonesing for barbecue chips, or experiencing the symptoms of having used altering chemicals. Make sure that you are both of sound mind when you’re breaking the bad news.
No.9 With cliches
Let us just be clear here. Saying: “It’s not you, it’s me” is ridiculous. You’re breaking up. You don’t want to be together. There’s something (or some things) that you just aren’t into. Also, saying: “Let’s be friends” is plain disrespectful. If you’re ditching the situation, you owe the respect of taking a step back. If you ended it, you have no say on the friendship potential. That’s the choice, and you need to suck it up, stay away and ditch the cliche mode as it is definitely one of the worst ways to break off a relationship.
No.8 Remotely
Yes, it is the 21st century, but breaking up is pretty much stuck in the past. Don’t even think about ending it online. Dear John letters have always been disastrous, so the modern equivalent via e-mail is completely unacceptable and flagged as one of the worst ways to break up. Yes, advances in online chatting and instant messaging now allow you to see and hear, but it’s cowardly. Phone call breakups have never been easy, so be a man: Do it in person. And if all this doesn’t tell you that text messaging is an absolute no-no, you’re probably too far gone to be helped anyway.
No.7 Mid date
Telling her that it’s over before, during or after a date is the emotional equivalent of an ambush. It’s just not honest. She’ll know immediately that your plans were disingenuous because that’s in fact exactly what they were. If the goal of the “meeting” is to finish the relationship, tell her that you need to discuss the relationship. Don’t tell her you’re going out for dinner or watching a movie -and it doesn’t matter what movie, because a post-date breakup is bound to have an unhappy ending.
No.6 Post-milestone
If you have any inkling that something may not be right, you don’t want to be making any major moves like purchasing a house or adopting a kid. It’s harder to dissolve the partnership if you’ve decided to move in, buy a house, get a car, or make any other investment together. If making that investment doesn’t sit well, you need to get out of there. It’s never too late to end a bad situation, but why make it especially hard on both of you by waiting even a minute too long and making it even more difficult to break up?
No.5 By assumption
Sure, you’re clear on how you feel, but you’d better be sure she is too. Don’t take it for granted that a brief mention of how things aren’t going terribly well will be accepted as an end to the relationship. What you say can be taken a number of different ways. You need to make sure that you limit this possibility for interpretation, so spell it out. Don’t count on anything less than a clear statement that the relationship is done. If you’re not saying it, she’s not hearing it.
No.4 Through provocation
When a little boy pesters a little girl, it usually means he has a thing for her. If, instead of getting straight to the point, you turn pestering into provocation to locate a convenient moment to dissolve the partnership, this is going to be mighty confusing, annoying and angering for her. Sure, you may disagree over which CSI is superior, but if you make this the relationship-defining issue, you can count on being confirmed as crazy.
No.3 Publicly
From your perspective, it may seem like a good idea to break the news in a public place, it’s like a no-man’s land, and that’s just the problem. With public breakups there’s no telling what might happen. In this situation, the event is simply not contained. If she gets upset, then you’re responsible for making her cry in public. If she’s angry, you look bad as well. Public humiliation is never desirable (for you or her), so close the door to this possibility and stick to locations that offer you and your soon-to-be ex a level of privacy.
No.2 By cheating
It’s almost guaranteed that it will be over if she finds out you’ve cheated, but you’ll also be forever known as the bastard she caught. It doesn’t matter how much you want to get out, or how much another woman catches your fancy, you’re bound to look bad if there’s any awkward overlap. Also, once you’ve done the deed, you’re technically available immediately, but if you want to up the positive-memory potential, you’ll probably want to wait it out a bit (like the notice you provide when leaving a job. A couple weeks is probably enough) before bouncing back into the dating scene.
No.1 Through avoidance
Again, clarity is the best policy. Yes, if you just quit answering phone calls, texts, e-mails, and your door, she’s bound to get the message, however, she’s also bound to get mighty upset, and you should know this is the worst way to break up with a woman. Unless you’re a glutton for punishment – because it will take time and energy to dodge and weave between repeated cracks at communication – take the high road and end it with dignity. She’ll most certainly still be hurt, but she won’t be left with the image of you as an unfeeling, insensitive prick who won’t pick up the phone.
