Being married is no walk in the park. And if it is, you’re definitely on something. No matter how well you get along and the number of things you have in common, there is bound to be something that just doesn’t work.
Nobody stays happy forever, fights can and will happen. Being aware of the issues and knowing how to resolve them will mostly certainly make things a little easier. Knowing the problem is half the battle. Solving it is another story. Here are some of the top things most people have difficulty with in their marriages:
FREQUENCY OF SEX
Infrequent sex is perhaps the most common problem in marriages. Sex stops periodically due to several factors including stress, resentment, exhaustion, just to name a few. Funny thing is, having sex is a great way to relieve stress, yet it is stress that is preventing you from having sex. Breaking a sex slump isn’t difficult if you eliminate all of the sources of stress in your life. Easier said than done, right? Men, if you are reading this… clean the house! Quiet the kids! Do anything that relieves some of the stress in our lives.
LETTING YOURSELF GO
Shocking, I know! Some people choose to let themselves go after marriage. Whether it’s just pure laziness, the incentive to stay fit is gone, or you can’t seem to find enough time, get out of that funk! If you don’t have the nerve to tell your loved one they need to shape up, try working out together. Go for nightly walks or bike rides. If you live with a gamer, try the Wii Fit. It may sound corny but it’s actually a lot of fun! And once you get on the scale and it tells you that you’re (err hmm)… overweight, you’re more apt to keep moving.
ONE OF YOU DOESN’T WANT CHILDREN
Some people see children as a necessary component to a happy marriage. Having children is a major decision in both of your lives and should be carefully thought out before you just start the practice rounds. Persistently putting off procreation can introduce stress, therefore making it a huge factor in marriage problems. Think long term. How old will you be when your hypothetical children drive? Or graduate high school. Remember, women operate on a ticking biological clock. This tends to be a touchy issue. Maybe one that should be discussed before you decide to tie the knot.
THE INABILITY TO HAVE CHILDREN
So you finally decide to have them. Now you can’t. Infertility can totally derail your shared vision of the future. Just remember, it’s nobody’s fault. Unlike chores or sex frequency, no modification of behavior can change the fact that you’re infertile. Be prepared that a potential childless future may happen and you’ll be less devastated if that’s the case.
THE FAMOUS IN-LAWS
Whether yours or hers, in-laws can play a huge role in stress on your relationship. Is it possible that your family is totally normal and his are nuts? Possibly. But it’s more likely that you’ve built up immunity to yours and that brand of craziness just doesn’t affect you anymore. It’s extremely easy to be critical of someone else’s family, so it’s important to realize the stress your family may cause as well. Be respectful of each other’s family time and try to accommodate as much as possible to lessen the amount of stress.
DEBT
Getting married often means buying a house, which means a mortgage, property taxes, maintenance costs. All equal a big fat hassle. Before you consider buying a home, sit down and tally up both of your debts, because more than likely, there will be some. Try to get as much under control as possible and save, save, save. If you have multiple credit cards, pay them off and cut them up. There’s no need to have more than one emergency card. It just leads to temptation. If you know your partner has a spending problem and you can’t keep it in check, you may want to consider keeping your own accounts in your own name. Money is one of the top things couples fight about in a relationship, so make sure to adopt a policy of transparency when it comes to making a purchase.
BOREDOM
Spending every waking moment with the same person for the rest of your life may seem comforting to some, terrifying to others. It’s to be expected that every so often your relationship will fall victim to boredom. Getting sick of one another is a big fear for a lot of people. This is also one of the easiest problems to cure. Take up a new hobby, travel somewhere together, try new things to spice up your sex life. There are numerous ways to beat boredom. Being creative and spontaneous is a guaranteed way to freshen things up a bit.
Remember that nobody is perfect and things are bound to go wrong. Being prepared and willing to fix them is the most important part of resolving a problem. If you never have an argument, what’s the point in being together? Because if you don’t care enough to bicker once in a while, your relationship must not be worth fighting for.
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