No.10 Under the influence

A little Dutch courage might make taking the plunge a tad easier, but a sloppy split becomes all the more sloppy if you’ve had  a few too many. Being high is also, quite obviously, ill advised. It is near guaranteed that breaking up will not go well if you’re giggling uncontrollably, paranoid, jonesing for barbecue chips, or experiencing the symptoms of having used altering chemicals. Make sure that you are both of sound mind when you’re breaking the bad news.

No.9 With cliches

Let us just be clear here. Saying: “It’s not you, it’s me” is ridiculous. You’re breaking up. You don’t want to be together. There’s something (or some things)  that you just aren’t into. Also, saying: “Let’s be friends” is plain disrespectful. If you’re ditching the situation, you owe the respect of taking a step back. If you ended it, you have no say on the friendship potential. That’s the choice, and you need to suck it up, stay away and ditch the cliche mode as it is definitely one of the worst ways to break off a relationship.

No.8 Remotely

Yes, it is the 21st century, but breaking up is pretty much stuck in the past. Don’t even think about ending it online. Dear John letters have always been disastrous, so the modern equivalent via e-mail is completely unacceptable and flagged as one of the worst ways to break up. Yes, advances in online chatting and instant messaging now allow you to see and hear, but it’s cowardly. Phone call breakups have never been easy, so be a man: Do it in person. And if all this doesn’t tell you that text messaging is an absolute no-no, you’re probably too far gone to be helped anyway.

No.7 Mid date

Telling her that it’s over before, during or after a date is the emotional equivalent of an ambush. It’s just not honest. She’ll know immediately that your plans were disingenuous because that’s in fact exactly what they were. If the goal of the “meeting” is to finish the relationship, tell her that you need to discuss the relationship. Don’t tell her you’re going out for dinner or watching a movie -and it doesn’t matter what movie, because a post-date breakup is bound to have an unhappy ending.

No.6 Post-milestone

If you have any inkling that something may not be right, you don’t want to be making any major moves like purchasing a house or adopting a kid. It’s harder to dissolve the partnership if you’ve decided to move in, buy a house, get a car, or make any other investment together. If making that investment doesn’t sit well, you need to get out of there. It’s never too late to end a bad situation, but why make it especially hard on both of you by waiting even a minute too long and making it even more difficult to break up?

No.5 By assumption

Sure, you’re clear on how you feel, but you’d better be sure she is too. Don’t take it for granted that a brief mention of how things aren’t going terribly well will be accepted as an end to the relationship. What you say can be taken a number of different ways. You need to make sure that you limit this possibility for interpretation, so spell it out. Don’t count on anything less than a clear statement that the relationship is done. If you’re not saying it, she’s not hearing it.

No.4 Through provocation

When a little boy pesters a little girl, it usually means he has a thing for her. If, instead of getting straight to the point, you turn pestering into provocation to locate a convenient moment to dissolve the partnership, this is going to be mighty confusing, annoying and angering for her. Sure, you may disagree over which CSI is superior, but if you make this the relationship-defining issue, you can count on being confirmed as crazy.

No.3 Publicly

From your perspective, it may seem like a good idea to break the news in a public place, it’s like a no-man’s land, and that’s just the problem. With public breakups there’s no telling what might happen. In this situation, the event is simply not contained. If she gets upset, then you’re responsible for making her cry in public. If she’s angry, you look bad as well. Public humiliation is never desirable (for you or her), so close the door to this possibility and stick to locations that offer you and your soon-to-be ex a level of privacy.

No.2 By cheating

It’s almost guaranteed that it will be over if she finds out you’ve cheated, but you’ll also be forever known as the bastard she caught. It doesn’t matter how much you want to get out, or how much another woman catches your fancy, you’re bound to look bad if there’s any awkward overlap. Also, once you’ve done the deed, you’re technically available immediately, but if you want to up the positive-memory potential, you’ll probably want to wait it out a bit (like the notice you provide when leaving a job. A couple weeks is probably enough) before bouncing back into the dating scene.

No.1 Through avoidance

Again, clarity is the best policy. Yes, if you just quit answering phone calls, texts, e-mails, and your door, she’s bound to get the message, however, she’s also bound to get mighty upset, and you should know this is the worst way to break up with a woman. Unless you’re a glutton for punishment – because it will take time and energy to dodge and weave between repeated cracks at communication – take the high road and end it with dignity. She’ll most certainly still be hurt, but she won’t be left with the image of you as an unfeeling, insensitive prick who won’t pick up the phone.

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Your mother used to tell you that you could be anything you wanted to be when you grew up. We’re not here to discourage that motivational thought process, but we are here to give you a few helpful hints on the male archetypes that most women will steer clear of so that you can steer clear of them as well. Battle of the sexes be damned- let’s get on the same side! Here’s a list of four guys she won’t date.

The BlackBerry buffoon

Some believe this type only exists in the world of Entourage, but rest assured, the “Ari Gold times 10″ model is alive and well on the Wall Street scene. He can be spotted by his sleek suit (he was torn between Burberry and Dolce), trendy pink shirt and tie, and the ever-present smartphone attached to his hand. This category comes along with a very important divide, however: those who actually are this type and those who just desperately try to be. This is distinguishable by whether the main reason for his BlackBerry is actually an insane amount of “urgent” work e-mail or simply just to check his fantasy football scores. Which is worse? We’re not sure. Either way, the world gets it: You have a job and are at least mildly successful. There’s no need to shout it from the rooftops. Success and ambition are most attractive when they’re expressed subtly, unless you’re trying to attract gold-digging chicks. If so, carry on – you are now one of the four guys she won’t date.

The “I don’t watch TV” guy

You think it makes you sound intellectual and unique. In fact, it makes you sound just a wee bit pompous with a slight undertone of dishonesty. Everyone watches TV. It’s true that women don’t want a guy who sits in front of the boob tube all day long with his hand down his pants (Al Bundy), but we also don’t want a snobby, Gucci-glasses-wearing “society boy” who makes us feel bad for reading Eat, Pray, Love. Intelligence is sexy, but it’s even sexier when you can also spout off a few lines from The Office with us. That’s what she said.

Peacocking players

So you read The Game and watched VH1′s The Pickup Artist. You convinced yourself that if those sad saps can snag a chick, well then, by god, so can you! However, you’re forgetting one crucial element: we girls watched The Pickup Artist too. And many of us read The Game as well. Yes, your psychedelic shirt and top hat will make you stand out in a crowd, but it will also make most normal girls point and laugh. We may enjoy your tarot card readings or other interesting prop devices you use to start a conversation, but it doesn’t exactly make us want to jump your bones. Bottom line: Those “get-a-girl tutorials” make some good points, but most guys in ordinary meet-a-girl situations have no idea how to incorporate them naturally and end up going way over the top with it. The one lesson that always works: Confidence is sexy. You can leave the top hat at home.

Nightclub boy

You may think these techno-dancing dudes went the way of the dodo a long time ago, but unfortunately they are alive and well. These may be the tight-shirt wearing guys you see picking up all the ladies on the dance floor with their electrifying moves. However, what looks like “picking up ladies” to the casual male observer is usually just sexual harassment to the gals. The rumors are true: girls like to dance. And going to a club to meet a girl isn’t necessarily a bad idea, as long as you’re mindful of certain variables. Do not attempt to snake your way into a group of dancing girls. They do not want you there. In this one very rare case, Dane Cook was right. They want to dance around their pocketbooks and shoes and screw guys for the night (not that kind of screwing). Do not attempt to show off “The Worm” or any other break-dancing moves you learned in college. Leave the glow sticks at home and approach a girl when she’s ready for a drink at the bar. If she likes you, chances are she’ll find your normal, “non-raving” dance skills endearing.

It all boils down to one simple, cliched fact: Just be yourself. Try too hard to be something you’re not (even if it works on Gossip Girl) and the quality girls will see right through it. Of course, if you’re looking for quantity, not quality, then we’ve just offered you a multitude of suggestions on how to achieve your weekend one-night-stand goal. You’re welcome! 

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Assuming you’re not being a total ass to her, you may want to attempt to enter that dangerous terrain otherwise known as a woman’s mind to get to the bottom of the girlfriend’s bitchiness. You are not at fault for her mood swings, but you’ll be one step closer to a remedy if you can understand the twists and turns of her logic. We also recommend taking the straightforward male approach here and asking your buddy for confirmation on the reason (if she’s told him, that is). Here are some of the most probable reasons for her ice queen behavior:

She sees you as the party guy

Once a girl has her claws in a good man, she doesn’t want to risk having him taken away from her. She may trust her boyfriend, but will still feel threatened if he continues to go bar-hopping with his other single guy friends frequently. And if you’re one of those friends, she’s going to assume that you’re trying to encourage her man to retreat back to singledom, and she’s going to target you as a threat to her domestic happiness.

What to do about it: It’s not your job to ease her insecurities, but you can subtly show her that you’re not all about encouraging your friend to chase after T&A every time he’s out with you. Invite her to hang with the boys on a night out to your usual guy haunt so she can see with her own eyes just how harmless your socializing (usually) is.

You’ve excluded her

Being a new girlfriend and getting introduced to a man’s guy friends can be intimidating. Group situations and inside jokes can make her feel like an outsider and if you haven’t made at least a small effort to include her, she’s going to feel slighted by you because of it.

What to do about it: There’s no need for you to roll out the red carpet for this girl, but the simple act of walking over to her during a group hangout and chatting one-on-one for a couple of minutes makes a world of difference (in a woman’s mind.)

She envies your friendship with her man

If it were up to most women, they’d like to be their man’s go-to person for everything. Whether it be advice about a work problem or being their “plus one” to a sporting event they have no interest in, women are looking to be numero uno in their significant other’s life, even if your friendship with her boyfriend has taken 10 years to cultivate and she’s only been around for three months.

What to do about it: Do not sacrifice your confidant status with your friend, but do show his girlfriend that her opinion is valued. Ask her for girl advice or financial tips if she’s an investment banker. Even if she hasn’t trumped you, she’ll feel satisfied with being on the same level.

She sees you as a bum

If a woman is in it to win it, she’s looking for a man who is mature and ambitious enough to take the next step with her, whether that be moving in together or marriage. If you happen to be the friend who still lives at home, is unemployed by choice and spends much of his daylight hours cheering on contestants on The Price Is Right, she will immediately label you as a hostile presence looking to drag her boyfriend down with you.

What to do about it: There’s absolutely no need to change your blissfully happy existence for your buddy’s girl, but subtle compliments on your friend’s cool job or his new apartment in front of her can help prove that you’re not looking to kidnap her lover into your lair of daytime television and stale cereal.

She’s a bitch, plain and simple

There’s always the possibility that there’s absolutely no shred of logic underlying the reason for the girlfriend’s coldness toward you. She is simply a cold, manipulative wench with an inability to see outside her own experience.

What to do about it: If playing nice hasn’t worked, just sit your friend down and be honest with him. He’ll likely curse you out at first but when he (hopefully) sees the light, he’ll remember and appreciate your honesty. In the meantime, brush up on the art of subtle passive-aggressive insults for when you’re unfortunate enough to have to be in her company.

It’s easy to write off a friend’s girlfriend who isn’t acting all warm and cuddly to you from the start, but there are a slew of reasons to put in some effort and try to build a good relationship with her — the most important being your friendship with your buddy. No matter what the cause, he will always feel in the middle if there’s tension between his friend and his girlfriend, and losing a good friend over that really sucks. But there are also loads of secondary reasons to try to be the bigger person in this scenario, including the fact that a great relationship with a friend’s girlfriend will almost always lead to awesome hookups with her hot friends and/or invaluable wing-woman time with random chicks. Reap your rewards, men!

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Scoring yourself a girlfriend who also enjoys women can be exciting so long as you are both prepared to embark on it. Bisexuality has its perks for some, and all the extra adventures can enhance your sex life. But she doesn’t have to be truly bisexual (in the most proper sense of the word) for the erotic feminine-loving side of her to emerge.

There are two versions of women who get it on with other women: the bisexual woman and the bi-curious woman. While bi-curious women are playful and ready to experiment with their sexuality just for fun, bisexual women may not be willing to ask you to join in on their girl-on-girl escapades.

Being bisexual is not something to be made light of. It can be extremely confusing, and it might be difficult to deal with emotionally. A bisexual woman is not there for your erotic entertainment, so if you want to spend your time with one, get that out of your head – this is not what a relationship is about. If your girlfriend comes out of the closet, treat it the same as if she told you she’s a lesbian: with kindness and care. If she decides that she would like to experiment with you and others, good for you both. If not, don’t push it. 

Women who love other women and can appreciate their finer qualities are gems. They generally aren’t threatened by the beauty of another, and can join you in admiring them. Everyone loves pretty things, and women overall tend to be very pretty things. This is certainly not a definitive clue, but if she is able to appreciate the sex appeal of a woman, then it means her mind is open to observing such things… and maybe, just maybe, it’s also open to more.

If she hooks up with girls or has done so in the past, it is likely to get brought up at some point. With all the woman-smooching that’s been going on in the last 10 years or so, it wouldn’t be shocking  if she’s done it at some point. Whether she liked it or not, and wants to repeat the experience, however, is another story. You will need to probe for more information.  

Her loving lesbian porn is a dead giveaway. This will tell you a lot more than any other clue. If she can actually watch and enjoy a woman being pleasured by another woman, then it is highly likely that she wouldn’t mind a bit of that action herself.  

This can be a good clue, but don’t let your imagination run too rampant.  Making up huge fantasies about your girl and her friends is likely to land you in trouble. Hinting will probably get you in trouble if you’re wrong, so keep it to yourself until you can see what is clearly going on.  

The easiest way to find out what she likes is to ask her. Amazing, I know, but true. She will probably not have a problem telling you about her desires and fantasies involving other women. She’s aware that it is one of man’s most sought-after experiences.

The kind of conversation starter you could try is, “When was the first time you kissed a girl?” This assumes she has, and will no doubt make her giggle as she relates the story -or, it enables you to ask if she would like to (hypothetically, of course). Keep it light, keep it sexy, and maybe you’ll get what you want. Be respectful, be kind, and whatever you do, don’t push your luck -especially if  it has a way of backfiring… 

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Your relationship has run its course and you are ready to go your separate ways. But as much as you’d like to make a clean break, you are too spineless to actually sit down and have “the talk.”

Ironically, men and women suffer the same affliction in the breakup department: cowardice. Yes, both sexes often wait out a relationship, hoping the other party will do the deed and end it officially. So, for those of you wanting out but are too much of a wuss to do it yourself, I have devised a step-by-step approach to accelerate the process of, well, getting dumped.

You can take them in the order they are arranged, or you can pick and choose what tactics you think would be most effective in your particular situation. These six things annoy us so much that, truth be told, as you proceed through the steps, she will progressively tire of you and likely can your ass before you can even hit the sixth. So if you want to get dumped quickly (though I can’t guarantee painlessly), read on.

Be ultra-noncommittal

If you can’t make or keep firm plans with her, she’ll know something is up. Most women know that when a man is interested, he wants to spend time with her; so when she sees you’re wavering about dinner two hours beforehand, or canceling at the last minute, she’ll be on to you. Doing this consistently is both rude and a strong statement that you’re not that into her – but I guess that’s what you’re going for here.

Be depressing

If you stop using your clever sense of humor and wit, going out together will become increasingly boring for the both of you. From her perspective, if she enjoys your time together less, in turn, her interest in you may start to wane. She probably won’t break up with you over this alone, but it’s certainly a step in that direction.

She still won’t dump you after the first two steps? It’s time to bring out the big guns…

Stop being affectionate

You can’t have your cake and eat it too, so if you are trying to keep her at arm’s length, it’s only fair to stop being intimate. In addition, if you discontinue all signs of affection like holding hands, cuddling and kissing, she’ll definitely feel your cold shoulder.

Be inconsiderate

You not only forget your anniversary, her birthday and other important dates, but you also show indifference about making plans for these occasions at all. You are generally thoughtless: You forget to call her back quickly, never pick her up and make her take a taxi home. These are all strong messages that you don’t take your relationship very seriously.

Tell her you don’t believe in marriage

This should put some final nails in your coffin. Of course, not every woman necessarily wants to get married, but a blatant statement like this will let her know that you’re not serious about a future together. This is more than a hint and trust me, she’ll get it.

Disagree, all the time. About everything

When she wants Chinese food, tell her you want Italian. If she’s on the political left, swing to the right. Your unwavering opposition will be tiring to her, and within no time, she should be annoyed enough to send you packing.

But before you implement the above steps, do consider the alternative: You can be a man, sit her down, and politely tell her that you’d like to go your separate ways- saving you both the time and aggravation. But for all you weasels out there (you know who you are), if you follow the steps above, chances are that she’ll throw your cowardly self out the door before you even get to step number six. 

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Celebrity gossip has recently provided us with two great examples of this possible complex: Both Tiger Woods and Jesse James have cheated on their wives – wholesome mother Elin Nordegren and America’s sweetheart Sandra Bullock, respectively – with women of questionable character. Tiger and Jesse may have had difficulty thinking  about their wives in a sexual manner and turned to a variety of “party girls” and “models” to meet their needs in the bedroom.

Where does this complex come from and how can it be fixed? Let us break it down for you.

Identifying Madonna and the Whore

In the interest of clarity, let’s just establish right off the bat that the Madonna we’re referring to is a symbol of Mary, the mother of Jesus (in some people’s minds, the ultimate example of piousness and purity), not the pop superstar (who clearly belongs on the other side of the spectrum). The Whore identity is pretty self-explanatory and frequently depicted by music and movie stars alike. Think Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, Megan Fox in, well, anything. Occasionally murderously psychotic, the Whore is nonetheless a pretty exciting woman to be around.

Why is it bad?

A man with the Madonna/Whore complex has trouble when it comes to marriages or long-term relationships. The woman he chooses to spend his life with will have qualities of the Madonna – good, kind, patient, and pure. Once they are married, and especially after she bears his children, the man will cease to think of his wife as a sexual being. He will be afraid of tarnishing or cheapening their bond with sex. Consequently, many marriages that involve this particular complex will end up with one or both partners having affairs. The man will look for a woman who fits the “whore identity” and use her to satisfy his sexual needs, while the woman may start reaching out to other men as well in order to get what she is not getting at home.

Mommy issues

Sigmund Freud, the famous psychologist, posited a theory about how the Madonna/Whore complex develops in a man’s psyche. A man with the complex, he said, may have grown up with a cold, distant or inattentive mother. His need to capture his mother’s attention and affection as a child is later projected onto the woman he chooses to marry. He might even look for a woman with similar characteristics to his mother. The parallels he draws between his wife and his mother lead the man to lose all sexual desire for his wife. He would not think of his mother in a sexual manner, thus, the mother of his children becomes non-sexual to him as well.

The first step to getting over this complex is to accept the fact that every woman, whether she appears to be primarily good or mostly bad, has aspects of both the Madonna and the Whore in her personality. The good girl you marry still wants to have sex, and the sexually open woman you have a fling with can most likely nurture and care for you and a family.

If this complex is causing serious difficulty in your marriage or relationship, therapy is probably your best bet to dealing with it and eventually eliminating it. See a therapist that specializes in couples or sex. Allowing your marriage to drift into no-sex territory will most likely result in affairs and will certainly cause unhappiness and tension. Keep the sexual spark alive by having sex often and in as many different ways as you can in order to avoid a shift in your perception of your wife. With time, both of you will see that a healthy sex life can coincide with a respectful, loving relationship.

This is not an excuse to cheat. If you choose a timid and reserved “Madonna” to marry and after a few years you’re finding that the carefree “whore” is looking more appealing, too bad. Your complex is not an excuse to mess up your marriage.

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Set up a fake profile to follow someone

This one may seem a bit extreme, but it is certainly not unheard-of to set up a fake persona in order to creep on someone’s profile. At the very least, she may get a mutual friend to allow her a little access to a Facebook page. Whether you broke up badly or got completely blown off, she probably wants to know what you’re up to. Instead of calling or e-mailing you, it’s easier and less embarrassing to scope out your profile while you are blissfully unaware that she is checking up on you. If you want to prevent this from happening, don’t add strangers to your friends list. If you have a friend you know is still in touch with her, keep your interactions limited.

Manipulate through photos

The photos a woman posts on her profile can be innocent – or they can be totally manipulative. Another crazy thing women do on Facebook is to put up embarrassing or compromising photos of people that have gotten on her bad side. If a guy breaks up with a girl and the next day photos of him in one of her dresses hit her profile, not only is it vindictive, but it’s also pretty immature.

A woman might also use her photo albums to present an image of herself that doesn’t exactly match up to reality. In her photos she might appear more sexy, adventurous and altogether more exciting than she is in real life.

Post passive-aggressive status updates

The Facebook status update can share big news with your friends or the mundane activities of your day, but for some women they can also serve an emotionally manipulative purpose. Whether it’s because she hates confrontation or she just wants the world to know what a jerk her boyfriend is, some women use their status updates to air complaints about their relationship instead of sitting down and talking it out directly. For example: “I visited the jewelery store and I’m tired of waiting!!!!” could be a not-so-subtle clue that she doesn’t want to wait for that engagement ring much longer. Post-breakup, a woman might post status updates that hint at a crazy social life: “I’m exhausted from an insane night!” or “I’m having a great day!” are both the types of messages that say a lot more when they come right after a big breakup.

Post ambiguous relationship photos

It’s not uncommon to see pictures of women with their arms around their friends, kissing them on the cheek, whether their friends are men or women. For some, these may be innocuous expressions of affection for their good friends, but for others they could be an attempt to elicit an envious response from their partners. These ambiguous photos with other guys could also cause other people to question the strength of her relationship with her boyfriend.

If a single girl is posting pics of her getting close to guys without making it clear whether or not they are dating, it can throw people off when they are thinking about making a move, causing them to be unsure of whether or not she’s already taken.

Post a fake relationship status

Some unattached women choose “in a relationship” for their profile just so people won’t start matchmaking or single-girl-pitying. A single woman of a certain age is a prime target for people who think everyone should be paired off in “happily ever after” relationships. Some single women even arrange with one of their close girlfriends to be each other’s “in a relationship with” person to avoid this kind of condescending sympathy. They’d rather raise questions about their sexual orientation than leave the space blank.

Facebook can be great when used responsibly, but can also be destructive to a relationship or a reputation if the person wielding the power thinks she can do so with impunity. Unfortunately, if she’s determined to keep up the antics, there’s not much you can do about it besides ask her to stop. If you’re in a relationship, she should have enough consideration to hear you out. If she’s your ex, all you can do is kick yourself in the ass for agreeing to try on that dress in the first place.

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“I don’t love you anymore” is one of the worst sentences a guy can hear, especially when it comes out of the blue in the midst of what you thought was a good relationship. You don’t have screaming, horrible fights. You thought things were moving along nicely and suddenly she hits you with the revelation that she’s fallen out of love.

 

Why would this happen? Is there something you could have done to prevent it? Maybe. Following are the top reasons women typically fall out of love. So grab your pen and paper, fellas, and prepare to take notes.

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For most single adults, there has been a history of dating one person, seeing if it will lead to a  significant relationship, and then taking it as far as possible. If it ends, the cycle repeats. While there is certainly nothing wrong with trying to create a close relationship with one person, in our view this approach falls short in several respects.

First of all, the purpose of dating is to have fun; explore how emotionally and physically safe it is to be with your partner, learn as much as you can about this person, and ultimately discover if you are compatible for a long-term relationship (if that is your intention). In keeping with the purpose of dating, we advocate a conservative, defensive posture since it is our experience that there are many more people that don’t know how to date in a healthy manner than those that do. It is dangerous and risky to place yourself in a vulnerable situation until you really know who you are with.

Secondly, if you are coming out of a lonely period, it is more difficult to be objective about your new dating partner. It’s hard enough to keep your wits about you if you experience some degree of falling in love or become infatuated with this person. When that is coupled with not having been with someone for a while, it is an extremely potent combination that can quickly escalate into a full-blown intense relationship, often before you really know who you are dating.

The two best ways to de-intensify a new relationship are not seeing the person (or even having phone, text or email contact) every day, and dating other people. When you date only one person, you have nobody to compare that person to. You will tend to project all of your romantic fantasies (and other unfinished business) onto this person that you barely know. By dating other people at the same time, you give yourself a built-in reality check to insure that you see things a bit more clearly.

“Fine”, people say, “but how do you tell someone that you’re dating other people?” The answer is easy: be honest. Remember, you want to learn as much as possible about this person. Their reaction to your telling them you are seeing someone else will reveal some valuable things about their personality and maturity. 

There are three general rules of thumb for dating more than one person:

• Be upfront and honest. Tell them right away so there are no surprises later.
• If you initiate a physical relationship with someone, let your other partners know and ask if they are ok with it.
• If you become very romantically close and attached to one person, decide if it’s time to date exclusively.

There is nothing wrong with experimenting with several partners as long as you are careful and open about your intentions. Just because you don’t feel a connection with someone doesn’t mean they don’t feel one with you. Juggling can be fun, but also dangerous where feelings are involved.

Dating more than one person is a great way to de-intensify the beginning of a relationship, to learn more about each person you are dating, and to truly assess the health of each dating experience by having a clear basis for comparison. Remember, it’s your heart which is ultimately at stake. Choose wisely.

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