Chic Relationships is starting a new column weekly, open to readers questions and comments. My first is a question from Anna in New Jersey and she is concerned about the sex life with her current partner. She writes:
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now and our sexual relationship has recently gone to non existent. I’m not quite sure what to do but it’s always awkward getting into bed at night. I know couples don’t have to have sex every single day, but when you go from twice a day to twice a month, it makes you wonder. Is it me?
This is a common problem in relationships due to lack of communication. Men either prefer to be the aggressor, or the prey . If he isn’t the pursuer, he must be the type who loves to be doted upon. He needs to feel desirable and attractive, therefore, waiting to be pounced. For him, the turn-on is feeling irresistible.
This can be a problem for some women because they may feel rejected, unattractive and unwanted. If you are the one always making the first move, carefully broach the topic and ask what he prefers. As long as he feels wanted and knows you will pursue him, he will be on board and willing to compromise.
Tell him what you like and bring variety to the table. If it feels planned and it’s always the same, it will become a chore, not a pleasurable experience. Hopefully talking about it will allow him to understand the importance of initiating it once in a while.
Trust me, it’s not you. Men love sex. Some just prefer you to chase them.
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