Being in the position of knowing your friend’s boyfriend or husband has cheated is the worst. How do you tell her? Should you tell her? The answer is absolutely without a doubt, yes.
It is a very awkward position to be in, but you need to do what is in the best interest of your friend. This is a situation that needs to be approached very carefully, especially if you don’t get along with her boyfriend. She may think you are just trying to sabotage their relationship.
First and foremost, you need to determine that you are 100% positive he is cheating. If you are just making assumptions because you think he may be, that is a dangerous road to travel. You could forever damage your friendship and then she would constantly be suspicious of him. Not a good feeling.
You need to confront your friend, after you have absolute confirmation he is cheating, and tell her straight out. No sugar coating it. If you fumble and stammer, she may think you are telling a big fat lie. Be sincere and loving. Harsh words will only harden the blow. She needs understanding and compassion at that moment.
Offer a sympathetic ear. You know this is hard news to swallow, so be prepared to get an earful. Listen quietly and let her talk. As much as you want to interject, keep your cool and bite your tongue. This is her time to vent, not your time to voice the lowly opinion you have of him.
Do not give specific details. I repeat, DO NOT. However much she begs you, she really does not need to know how hot the other girl was or that they were totally making out in the night club where he use to take her. It will only make her feel worse about herself and that is NOT what she needs to hear. Instead, talk her up. Tell her how wonderful and beautiful she is and that she deserves so much better. It may not work right that second, but she will come to realize this the madder she gets.
If you are still debating on telling your friend about a cheating lover, think twice about the health risks that may be involved. If he is sleeping with a lot of women and not using protection, he could be contracting diseases and passing them on to your friend. Now how would you feel if she came down with an STD and you could have stopped it? I’m imagining not too well…
Or you may consider being the one cheated on. What if your friends knew your boyfriend was cheating and they didn’t tell you because they didn’t want to hurt you? You would be devastated to find this out. The “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy is lying, in my opinion. If you know of someone cheating on their spouse, speak up. No matter how awful you feel. It’s the right thing to do.
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