Let’s face it: Coming on too eager is hardly a proven way to find a lasting partner. That’s why you’ve got to inject a little intrigue and mystery early on in dating.
That’s right, I’m talking about making your pursuers work a little. After all, we appreciate the things we earn more than the things that we are handed. So make your prospective partner win your affection the old-fashioned way. By earning it.
1. Keep some secrets. Don’t blurt out every single detail about yourself in the first email or phone call. If you tell him everything up front, he has no need to ask you out in order to get to know you. Mute out important details so the guy you’re interested in has more reason to stay interested in you. This doesn’t mean you should lie or omit important information. Just be more mindful about what you say and when you say it.
2. Use the old fishing ploy. If you want to get a fish to bite your lure, you have to keep it moving enough to be interested but not so fast that it’s too hard to catch. The darting action of a lure in the hands of a skilled fisherman (or woman) is usually hard to resist for a hungry fish. Bingo- you got what you were fishing for.
3. Play to win. Don’t be shy and don’t be a passive player. Show your strength. If you’re playing to win, you’ll put off a vibe saying you’re only looking for serious suitors and that you’re not getting into a game if the stakes aren’t high. If you have doubts or aren’t sure about why you decided to play this round, don’t play it.
4. Be only slightly accessible. Make it a point to never be too available during the early stages of any relationship. You don’t want him to think you’ve got nothing better to do, even when you don’t. This makes him feel like he’d better work hard to get, and keep, your attention. Caution: You can take this too far. Your goal is to appear active and in demand rather than aloof or uninterested.
5. Be sexy while withholding sex. Don’t give it away when he’s perfectly willing to earn it. Dress up and look nice, but make it a strictly ‘look, don’t touch’ situation until you’re sure he’s interested.
Playing hard to get isn’t hard. But it’s not a game for the faint of heart. The stakes can be high. By following these five handy rules, however, you’ll be in good shape to get and keep your date’s attention. Just remember not to overplay your hand, lest he take your mysterious cool as a sign of disinterest.
