Women may think guys dig us because we have a great sense of humor, look hot, or can make a mean pot of chili — and those are certainly lovable qualities. But they aren’t really what guys love most about us.
A teacher, an electrician, a baseball coach, and a few other men find themselves sitting in the same downtown pub. Is this the beginning of a really bad joke? Or the start of a really great list of things men really love about their wives or girlfriends? Created from the weepy declarations, tipsy ramblings, and uncomfortable announcements gathered from a group of wonderfully willing male participants, here’s what they had to say:
They love it when we take control.
It might seem like they hate it when we’re bossy, but really, they only hate it when we boss them around. When we get badass with other people, they find it totally hot. One of our guys said:“My wife was working at home the other day, and while she was on a conference call, I listened to her chew someone out for screwing up. She didn’t yell or get nasty, but she made sure the person knew how displeased she was, and then completely shut down any excuses they tried to make; by the end of the call she had them apologizing. She was in total control, and everyone on the call knew it. It was at that moment that I realized my wife is a professional badass — and that I find it ridiculously sexy.”
They love watching sports with us — sort of.
While men consider watching sports mostly a guy thing (because of the cursing and the gluttony), every now and then they are happily surprised by our interest in and enthusiasm for their favorite athletic competition. “There is one sporting event every year that I love sharing with my wife: filling out our NCAA men’s basketball tournament brackets,” my teacher friend explains. “We’ve been filling out our brackets together every March since we first started dating. She was a ‘bracket virgin’ before we met, but now her enthusiasm for picking teams is pretty amazing. She chooses with her heart using a complicated system of geography, underdog status, and familial connections. Her brackets are an example of who she is — they are all about loyalty, hope, and happy memories. Her sense of conviction is so strong. How can you not love that?”
They love that we don’t want them to die — yet.
One man recently went to the doctor for a checkup and learned that his overall physical assessment had changed from “in the danger zone in several key categories” to “facing imminent demise.” Forgetting the childhood lesson learned from that hoagie-loving über-husband, Cliff Huxtable, and his hoagie-denying über-wife, Clair, from The Cosby Show, he made the mistake of telling his wife about the diagnosis. So now every morning and evening, his wife makes him a greenish-brown “smoothie” to drink. It’s made from things like kale, flax seed, and spinach, and it has the consistency of motor oil. He said it’s so bad it makes his taste buds feel ashamed. Every time he drinks one of her sickly-Yoda-colored drinks, it’s a little reminder that she doesn’t want to do just fine without him — she wants to do just fine with him. And he loves that.
They love that you know everything about each other.
Everyone agreed that after X years of marriage, there is very little they don’t know about their wives and vice versa. But even though their relationships may lack mystery, they all love that their women know exactly how they feel at a particular moment and why they feel that way. And that they know the same of their wives. That kind of intimacy is like a big plate of waffles on a cold morning. It might be syrupy sweet and make you fat and lethargic, but it’s comforting, heartwarming, and delicious.
They love that we talk their ears off.
When he’s not yakking about why he loves his wife over a plate of wings and some beers with the guys, he’s actually pretty quiet. For him, there is something soothing about how much his wife talks. “It’s like she’s doing the talking for the both of us. It’s relaxing. Her constant talking is like having a rerun of my favorite TV show on in the background after a long day: It’s familiar and funny and you can kind of tune in and out as you unwind.” Yes, ladies- it’s true. And from the mouth of a man. A lawyer man.
They love how we solve problems.
The baseball coach describes the way his wife tackles obstacles as full of drama: She rages, she cries, she internalizes everything. Her system of problem-solving takes a long time and involves making everything personal and leading with her emotions in a quest to see how she would feel about each possible solution. It is apparently a very stressful process. In contrast, the coach’s problem-solving method is to just try to find the fastest fix. When I asked him why he preferred his wife’s method, he said it was because “her decisions always end up being the right ones, whereas mine always end up being the quick ones.”
They love us — even in our sweats.
There is something to be said for the things in life that are effortlessly sexy. Sometimes lingerie and Princess Leia outfits feel forced, which can make everything that follows feel a little awkward. Says the artist:“My wife has a ratty pair of sweatpants that she’s owned since before we were even dating, and they are just about the sexiest thing on the planet. By some amazing alchemy of time blended with constant usage, these sweats have totally conformed to the shape of her body. They have holes above the pockets that show off the swoop of her hips and they have somehow managed to maintain their shape in the back so that they accentuate one of her finest features. I would take this pair of sweatpants over lingerie or Princess Leia outfits the majority of the time. Which is why it wasn’t that my wife was all glammed up the first night we slept together that made me think we could be physically compatible for the long haul — it was the fact that I wanted her just as badly the next morning.”
They love that we love them.
When asked what’s the most surprising thing he loves about his wife, the electrician says simply, “that she puts up with me.” Enough said.
