Just like the song says, “Breaking up is hard to do.” It’s tough to think clearly, to sleep, to eat, to do anything. If you know being friends isn’t an option, there’s a couple rules that must be followed in order to maintain a healthy sanity level.
You don’t want to end up being the crazy ex who is acting foolishly because you can’t rationalize the breakup. Here are a few simple things to remember while you’re dealing with the pain:
Do Not Pick Up That Phone: No matter the news, good or bad. Don’t do it. Don’t call and don’t take calls from your ex. Hearing their voice on the other end will just bring back memories and make you wonder if you made the right decision to leave. Same applies for texting. You want to click away on that keypad but don’t. You will exchange a few messages, the subject of separation will arise, and you will be mad all over again. Just stay away.
Delete Saved Messages: This includes voicemail and email. You don’t want to hear his voice every time a new message comes through. Delete it. Emails as well. You know you have a ton saved and you look at them over and over again. This makes the healing process impossible because you are continuously reminded of him.
Do Not Look For Reasons To Get Back Together: There is a reason for the breakup, so don’t question yourself. If you were one of those couples who broke up every other week because he/she didn’t call you back right away, you shouldn’t be together. If simple issues escalate into huge problems, apparently something isn’t right. Constant fighting and anxiety should not be incorporated into a relationship.
Do Not Frequent Your “Favorite Spot”: Besides being stalkerish, this isn’t healthy for you because it will be painful. You will look for your favorite booth and remember the laughs you shared, the drink you had, and the outfit he was wearing on your last date. If you know he will be there, go somewhere else. This isn’t a pissing contest- find a new favorite spot.
Do Not Get A Rebound Guy: Unless you are Jennifer Aniston herself, it is not cool to bounce from one man to the next. Breakups take time to heal, it doesn’t happen over night, as wonderful as that would be. If you need to have a man to take up your time, you really need to get a hobby. Take this time alone to reflect on you and get back to doing things that were put on hold before he came along. You may rediscover some things about yourself. And have a few extra nights out with the girls.
No matter the length of time with a partner, it’s usually difficult letting them go because something drew you to them in the first place. Allow yourself some time to heal, cry, eat a box of donuts, whatever it is that comforts you. But as time passes, so will the pain. What will be left is the memories. And those, you will never forget.
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