For those of you who believe in the sanctity of marriage and all that it stands for, you may not want to read this article.
Marriage was created in the days of governmental control and religious choke holds on people. The idea of spending forever with someone was bearable because we only lived until the ripe old age of 40. Now don’t get me wrong- this article isn’t against love or being in love, it’s merely an argument against the institution of marriage and the outdated rules that surround the entire concept. Here are a few points to back up my theory.
Marriage Is Forever
So they say anyway… there is this little thing called divorce. But why venture there if you don’t have to? Don’t you have enough headaches? You need to seriously ponder if you want to wake up next to the same person every day. For the rest of your life. Do you really want to give up the weekend getaways to anywhere with anyone, start watching your money, live with a lack of sex for the rest of your days on earth? When they say kiss the bride, hopefully it’s “goodbye.”
No More Options
Variety is the spice of life. And Spice would be the name of the stripper dancing on his lap the night before your wedding. Settling down with one person eliminates the wide selection that is out there waiting and the thrill of a chase. No more one night stands, flings with your co-worker, or pick-ups at the gym. And your luck would be, all of the men you were drooling over will come crawling out of the woodwork like carpenter ants willing and ready. Now that you’re unavailable. Go figure.
It Often Fails
50% of marriages end in divorce, it’s a statistic. How many people do you know that live life on the flip of a coin? Heads you live, tails you die. It’s a 50/50 chance, but are you satisfied with those odds? Marriage isn’t that drastic or life threatening, but often times just as scary!
It’s The End Of Your Sex Life
For the most part anyway. It’s always in the same location, at the same time in the same position. And about as boring as a sugar-free cookie. Do you want to try something new? Not tonight, the games on. (Not EVER if we must be brutally honest.) You’ve fallen into the sexless, boring marriage. It has become a chore, not a pleasure.
Compromise, Compromise, Compromise
Isn’t life meant to be lived? It’s hard to accomplish everything you want to do when you’re busy picking up his dirty socks and scraping food off the dishes in the sink. Forget about the shoe sale at the mall, you’ve got to walk the dog and do the mountain of laundry that seems to breed on it’s own. Compromise isn’t just associated with little decisions either. You will have to agree on where to live, who pays the bills, and a million other stupid minor details just to keep him from whining.
It’s Just A Piece Of Signed Paperwork
Why can’t two people just be in a monogamous relationship without signing a piece of paper from the state? Personally, I think marriage certificates are an expensive, unnecessary formality just to share health insurance. If the two of you are happy with your current arrangement, why rock the boat? Don’t let family or friends pressure you by asking “when are you getting married?” every time you see them. Most of them are miserable and trying to suck you into their black hole of depression. How thoughtful of them.
Spontaneity Goes Out The Window
Married couples love to tell people they are spontaneous. If they really were, they’d be too busy going places and doing the things they are talking about. They may be spontaneous, but after months of planning, juggling, deadlines, cancellations and last minute calls to the babysitter. I’m sure they would love to just hop on a plane to nowhere, but their money is spent on bills, saving for a bigger house, daycare or car repairs.
No More Taking Risks
It’s more difficult to take risks when other people’s money, health, life or future are in your hands. When you’re married, you need to keep the interests of two people in mind for every decision. If you want to jump out of an airplane, you can jump and not have to worry about your partner and kids at home. Life involves risks- some that work, and some that will smack you right in the face if proper precautions aren’t taken. But if you’re single, you can get right back up and try it again. If married, that would be a pretty selfish thing to do. As long as you are the only person suffering consequences, jump to your heart’s desire!
Marriage Is Expensive
Do you really want to kick start your marriage by choking on debt from a $500 cake and a D.J. that ignored your “don’t play” song list? Facts released from wedding industries prove that wedding prices are spiraling out of control. You may have two incomes, but now you have to explain how, where and why you’re spending your hard earned cash. That’s worse than your mother asking where your allowance went. The most expensive part of marriage? Divorce.
Your Body Tends To Morph
Even if you don’t have children, studies show that wedded bliss makes you gain weight and you are more likely to slack on the workout routine. Some women use the “get out of diet” card because their chubby hubby has evolved more quickly than they have. If you get into the habit of eating out because you can’t cook, or just like date night, you’re more apt to gaining that way.
Marriage isn’t for everyone. If you’re going to take the leap, make sure it’s right for you. Be willing to change your lifestyle and make a lot of compromises. Until then, enjoy being single and have as much fun as you can!
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